Lost judgment fleeing overnight5/8/2023 ![]() ![]() You trust each other and you’re completely committed to making your relationship work. You honor each other’s dreams even if they’re different. You can agree about what a home is, what love is, and how you want or IF you want to raise children. You share the same values and ethics, beliefs, rituals… and work towards some of the same goals. You have a satisfying sex life and make intimacy a priority. Both of you can say, “I’m sorry” and make an effort to make it better. And when things get tough… when difficult emotions bubble up… you can repair the situation when you hurt each other. That could mean melting into the couch together THIS Friday and going out for pizza NEXT Friday. You can come to a mutual understanding and figure out a compromise that works for both of you. Neither of you can agree, but you can manage conflict constructively. Maybe your partner likes to spend Friday nights with you out of the house - they want to go for a long walk or grab a pizza… and all you want to do is melt into the couch because you’re absolutely exhausted. A good amount of conflict is perpetual… meaning there are some things that you and your partner will rehash over and over again without progress. Just don’t expect to solve all of your relationship problems. EVERY couple argues and actually, conflict is healthy because it leads to a greater understanding. ![]() You absolutely do not tolerate emotional or physical abuse.Ī good enough relationship isn’t sunshine and butterflies all the time though - you’ll still have disagreements with your partner… because well, that’s real life. You expect them to be loyal - and to stand by your side. You expect your partner to treasure you… and value your feelings and who you are. You expect your partner to treat you with kindness, love, affection, and respect. In a good enough relationship, you have high expectations for how you’re treated. That might sound like you’re settling for less than best, but it’s really not. Instead, shoot for a “good enough” relationship. Or on the flip side, if you had high expectations… everything in your relationship would be perfect - but neither of those expectations are realistic. Maybe you once thought that if you lower your expectations, you won’t be disappointed by your partner. Today’s tip is about curbing your expectations in your relationship. Hi! You’re listening to Small Things Often from The Gottman Institute, where we talk you through research-based tips to help improve your relationships in 5 minutes or less. On this episode of Small Things Often, we’ll explain why all you need is a “good enough” relationship. How to Curb Your Expectations You don’t need to set your expectations super high or way down low to have a healthy relationship.
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